Fusión sin vaselina ni Oraldine

Estábamos tan felices los abulenses hace unos días con el apoyo del PP local a Caja de Ávila porque "son los intereses de los abulenses". Joder, qué tíos más enrollados, coño. Para que luego nos quejemos... En estas andábamos hasta esta mañana. De hecho nos hemos reído un rato con una de las siempre geniales viñetas de Fe de Ratas:

Ojalá...

Hasta que el diario El País nos hemos enterado de que nos la habían metido hasta el fondo. Y me había dejado el tarro de vaselina y el frasco de Oraldine encima del piano, oiga usted. Lo mejor se lo extracto para su mejor compresión:

(...)el diseño de una sociedad holding que tendrá la marca de Grupo Cajas de Castilla y León. Esta idea tendrá un consejo de administración formado por todas las entidades, con una representación proporcional a los activos. Este órgano controlará la solvencia y la liquidez de todas las cajas, aspecto muy relevante, y podrá emitir cuotas participativas. El órgano común contendrá las participaciones industriales más relevantes de las cajas. El objetivo es que tenga músculo financiero para poder atender las demandas de las empresas de la región e, incluso, acompañarlas al extranjero. También contempla la posibilidad de comprar alguna entidad fuera, una vez que estén cotizando las cuotas. Además, este holding concentrará los servicios informáticos y administrativos de las seis entidades, para poder ahorrar costes. (...)Cada caja seguirá con sus redes de oficinas, la plantilla, la distribución de la obra social y, algo muy relevante, las sedes sociales.

Así, de un plumazo, nuestros siempre sacrificados próceres consiguen, a mi parecer, una serie de objetivos claros:

  • Quedar muy bien de cara a la galería pues esto no es, en rigor, una fusión. Se mantiene la imagen y la red de oficinas con lo que, aunque todo sea como un poblado del oeste de spaghetti western —fachadas sujetas con cuatro palos— algunos seguirán ejerciendo de sheriff tan felices.
  • Garantizar las poltronas actuales en las seis cajas regionales. No se pierde ni una.
  • Crear otra tanda de poltronas en la nueva MegaCaja a distribuir como mejor les convenga.
  • Poder mover pasta de una entidad a otra —o a donde les apetezca— a discreción. Ya veremos lo que hacen con el músculo financiero... ¿Levantamiento de pesadas sacas?
  • Externalizar los servicios centrales e informáticos para abaratar costes. Bonito eufemismo para decir que se van a cargar un buen puñado de curritos para poder pagar las nuevas poltronas (sin que se note mucho, por Dios).
  • Poder seguir repartiendo la obra social en cada feudo con total impunidad.

Como ven, lo que se dice una jugada maestra. Y parecian tontos los muchachos... Bueno, les dejo, que tengo que comprobar las reservas de lubricante y colutorio.

(Publicado simultáneamente en Halón Disparado).

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